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If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
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“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”
powerful Black Science Man
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This is it. This is how it started.It baffles me when no one I work with knows why I’m so cool.
are you kidding me
(Source: relentless-soul)13,222 notes ~~ Permalink ~~ Reblog ~~
holy fuck we have our windows open and we heard a blood curling scream so naturally I went to look out the window because wow is someone getting stabbed?? and it is just my neighbour on his knees staring at a KFC chicken bucket spilt all over his driveway
I though they meant the computer at first … .
(Source: tansma)234,824 notes ~~ Permalink ~~ Reblog ~~
THIS IS NOT NEWS
I don’t know what people expect Egyptians to be. I guess watching The 10 Commandments on ABC growing up got folks thinking they all looked like bronzed white people.
BREAKING NEWS: BLACK PEOPLE ARE BLACK. THIS IS AN AMAZING DISCOVERY. BLACK PEOPLE EXISTED BEFORE WE DISCOVERED THEM AND ENSLAVED THEM AND FUCKED UP THEIR LAND. WOW.
Africans in Africa? Mind blown.
But Hollywood movies tho
(Source: darvinasafo)163,865 notes ~~ Permalink ~~ Reblog ~~
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"so… are you REALLY a lesbian?" no. i am actually 16 praying mantises disguised in a human suit. i am sorry for deceiving you
you must be really small then…only 16?!
please do not belittle our efforts. we are trying our best
thank you Bathtub Barracuda.
(Source: alessandroscocciapappagallo)175,417 notes ~~ Permalink ~~ Reblog ~~